User was warned for: Excessive explicit content
God damn, what is with you guys and the FBI? The CIA instigate alot more than FBI.
Anyways, not to worry Sir golden boy! Thanks to the healing chamber (Pleiades tech) my dick is back! I feel much more confident about myself, and am able to tackle life's problems head on! Like a bull would to his prey...
I end up getting Mr. Death to get back together with Lady Death. Now that the yin and the yang of death have reunited, a still calmness pervades the cosmos! This new found peace inspires God himself to shed a tear of happiness, and that giant tear drop splashes onto AndrewGOLD, replenishing Andrew's blood, and healing his wound(s).
But, I had a little too much cocaine and LSD. When I saw God crying like a bitch, I thought he was Satan laughing like a pimp. God and Satan both look similar, and why would God shed a tear of joy for Mr & Mrs. Death? Thats something Satan would do! And Satan has owed me fifty bucks for a long, long time.
Satan had got really drunk at my bar one night. If he had tried to drive home by himself, he would have either been arrested by the Irish poker champs, or would have had a fatal car crash! So, being the nice guy I naturally am, I called and paid for a speedy cab to get Satan back home safely.
THAT WAS FOUR YEARS AGO, and that greedy bastard has yet to pay me back! Plus he still owes me a hefty bar tab. BASTARD!
There was this one time I thought he was going to be true to his word and pay me back. But It turns out he paid me back in mortgages. I have little to no interest in ponzi schemes...
So, I cut off God's head, thinking it was Satan's. I ripped his eyes out from their sockets. Then I jammed my new and improved cock through the left eye hole, and skull fucked the bajeezus out of this alien bastard - for you see, most "Gods" and "Satans" are actually from a another planet... the christian god, the muslim god, the jewish god, the god named baphomet, those fucken roman gods and shit? Or the greek assholes? - ALL "gods", "recorded", in earth "history", are basically slave drivers from different planets. They invaded us while we were primates, wanting our gold, but they were too lazy to mine it themselves. So they genetically modified us primates to dig up the gold for them. They "enhanced" us, to be just smart enough to be able to work the machinery, but very, very, VERY dumb enough to be oblivious to what is actually going on. Not much has changed since those 7 billion years ago...
Anyways, the people of earth need a new God to save them from Satan's ponzi schemes. Oh, won't someone save these lost souls!? They need a new hero! Won't someone answer the call?