There are few threads going on here in parallel. The first one is swapping/team changing. As far as W3D server moderation goes, the rules are as follows:
Team stacking is not illegal.
Swapping with another player is not illegal.
Leaving and rejoining to switch teams IS illegal.
Idling in your base for long periods, waiting for a swap CAN be classified as team hampering if done often or long enough, although i don't think 5 minutes in a 105 minute match is too significant.
Ely, Limado, you are welcome to swap around to play the same team if it's by the use of !swap command. I understand it is frustrating to have a limited time per day to play with your friends, and then land on opposite sides. But these are the rules we all follow to keep the games balanced and fun to all players involved. To illustrate how telling someone to leave so you can then "balance the teams" affects the player experience, take this scenario:
There are 9 players in game, 4v5
Over a number of games, everyone should be on the 4 side as many times as on the 5 side. While it sucks, it sucks for everyone the same.
You two split at match start, one on each team.
You tell a person on the 4 side to leave, and rejoin, while swapping over.
Now it's 5v4, where the players who RNGd the 5 side get punished by you gaming the shuffling script.
The guy who left and both of you essentially cheat the system to be on the 5 side.
Over a number of games this gets frustrating and pretty bad mannered towards the other players. It's uncool, and that's why it's against the rules. Nobody wants to play outnumbered because Limado or Ely happened to land on their team at start. You need to learn that sometimes you have to play against each other.
The other issue is harassment over PMs. This has to stop.